I have always been an advocate of raising public awareness about our industry. The trouble is that auto glass is simply neither sexy nor hip. What we need is a makeover. Having a national ad campaign for a single company is not enough. Auto glass needs its own show or shows that reveal the human side of our industry. With the large number of reality shows that are on TV these days, the auto glass industry should consider creating one of our very own. Since no one seems to be doing anything along those lines, I thought I should, as a public service, offer a few story lines that might gain traction.
Hacking With the Stars—We start with eight two-person teams, made up from celebrities and glass professionals and see who can stuff a windshield the best under two minutes to music. We first need to find a few techs that look like Julianne Hough and her brother Derek. I don’t see Betty White starting the season as a contestant. Also, Bob Beranek needs to work on his English accent if he wants to make it as a jury member.
The Voice—Here is where people compete via script and tone of one’s speech to convince new claimants to docilely accept their directions to use certain glass services. Contestants will be judged on how little resistance they evoke and how they handle objections. Winners will receive a gold plated headset and a job offer from a TPA call center.
The Amazing Route—The concept is a technician is given a list of installs that they must complete within a certain length of time. This may involve negotiating geographical barriers such as oceans or mountain ranges as well as political ones such as borders or undeclared wars. Using roads may be optional. The winner will be judged on both climatic conditions that they encounter during installs and the creative use of GPS. Grand prize includes the surviving contestant’s van and a job as a shop manager.
The Biggest Loser—The concept of this show is identifying the worst installer that exists in the marketplace. Nominees may come from the Wall of Shame at AGRR™ or from suggestions made by shops, who have been unlucky to have come after the offending technician. One can presume this show has the capability of exceeding “The Simpsons” for longevity. Jeff Olive can be the emcee of the show and have the pleasure of awarding the winner his prize—a job as a groundskeeper for the Nome, Alaska parks system.
Jersey Shore Techs—We could finally see the AGRR™ Forum board character XS live and in person as he leads his company into battle versus broken windshields and his favorite corporate adversary. One wonders if he could compete with “The Situation” when it comes to washboard abs or Snooki’s tan lines. I would hope that Bruce “The Boss” would provide the appropriate background music.
Top Gear AG—This is one show that I would love to do. Test drive exotic cars and then install windshields in them.
There is no doubt that if auto glass could generate the kind of interest “American Idol” does, much of our public relations image issues would vanish. People would gladly get their windshields replaced if we could only teach Steven Tyler how to use a cold knife and not inhale primer.
