It has come to my attention that we in the auto glass industry need to puff up our image to the American public. Since the Gecko’s company is now touting its convenient windshield replacement service in TV ads, perhaps it is time to broaden our horizons and truly make a statement to the citizens of this country. In my mind, the best way, perhaps the only way, to grab viewer’s attention is to produce a reality show that involves auto glass in some way. So, as a public service, I thought I would try to plant a few creative seeds in the hope that some producer could take the ball and, of course, in true media style take all the credit and plagiarize the idea.
Feeney’s Follies – This show would involve what life is like inside a typical auto glass shop, sort of a combination of “Jon and Kate Plus 8” and “McHale’s Navy” production. Instead of trying to manage eight children, it would center on a shop manager trying to deal with eight different techs. Basically the same impossible and divisive concept, as he has to deal with both corporate demands along with the diverse talents and problems each one of his techs brings to the shop on a daily basis.
Survivor – This concept would have three glass techs showing up at the same address simultaneously with identical work orders for the same car. The drama would involve who would actually do the install and if there would be any sort of conflict between installers. Safelite Solutions already has agreed to be a sponsor to the series, if picked up.
The Glass Gong Show – This 15-minute mini-show involves highlighting the poor installation talents of auto glass techs. Bob Beranek, Jeff Olive and hopefully Cindy Rowe will be moderators of this weekly TV series. Techs from all over the country will compete on air showing how fast and what shortcuts can be used to install windshields. Prizes would be awarded based on creativity, structural disregard and to what extent installers shock and disgust the judges.
What’s My Line? – This show would involve the most outlandish fibs or scripts a CSR could tell a caller to entice, cajole or steer that person to use their glass service.
CSI Kingston – This show would involve removing a previously installed windshield and trying to trace back and track down who could have been the tech of record.
What? Me Worry? – The storylines would involve glass distributors and the heroic efforts they make daily to provide defect-free products and mistake-free orders to retailers
Ice Road Installers – Yes, if there are trucks driving in the Arctic, there have to be techs to service their glass needs. This show would involve the trials and tribulations of working in the extreme North on a mobile basis.
Real World Fort Myers – Seven glass claims administrators share the same workstation and residential quarters. See what happens when these collide.
The Great Bonus – This weekly drama features glass techs given multiple work orders. They have geographical and time challenges to meet and overcome.
The Bachelorette – In this series, some poor girl is condemned to select one bachelor among 12 auto glass installers to marry or just have her windshield installed by the winner. Physical feats such as cowl jumping, glass lifting and beer can crushing will be used as judging points along with body odor, English language skills and the ability to use complete sentences when doing so.
We Love Larry – This show would be about an industry Internet message board and the denizens that contribute to it. It should be a comedy more than a reality show.
These are just a few ideas for concept shows that I’m sure could tug at America’s heartstrings and raise the nations’ consciousness toward our dwindling reputations.
