I’ve been writing this blog for more than a year now. Sometimes it can be difficult to get the creative juices stirred up every week and find an appropriate topic to hold the interest of its readers. I’ll admit no problem this time, despite the fact that I’ve just completed a four-day cross-country turnaround flight.
I would like to honor two people who have no connection to the auto glass industry. Subjects such as urethane, deceptive referrals were foreign to them, and ask them the name of any auto glass installation firm (save one) and they could not answer. In fact, in their entire life span, neither ever had a windshield nor a tempered piece of auto glass replaced. If they did, they never spoke to me about it. Hopefully they would have since I am their middle son.
I used to think that nothing would last forever. I’ve been convinced and those convictions reinforced over the past week or so that there is such a thing as eternal love and devotion. The second revelation was that my siblings and I are direct products of our upbringing and we should be forever grateful for that quirk of fate.
My parents’ 61 years of marriage ended last week when my mother, who had suffered from Alzheimer’s for eight years, passed away at the age of 92. It was a blessing for both of them as it bled both life and finances from the both of them. My father, who tried to nurse his wife on his own for more than four years, spent the last three and half years faithfully coming daily to her nursing home, spending the four hours at midday, feeding and tending to her needs. The only time he ever missed visiting was when his health forced him into a hospital for a week and a single weekend to attend the out of town wedding of his granddaughter.
My two brothers and I never heard a word of complaint ever from my parents. My father never said a word when he sold his townhouse and moved into a three room 700-square-foot flat in order to finance his wife’s long-term care. Their stoicism had roots in their own beginnings.
My mother never knew what a stable home was. She lost her mother before her first birthday and was passed around to relatives, as her father worked on a railroad. He died when she was 12, just before the Depression hit and was given to her married half-sister to be cared after. My father was the youngest of eight of a hardscrabble tenant farmer in upstate New York. The stories of deprivations that he suffered through I heard came from other relatives but never from my dad. These two people met and married in 1947 and started a family almost immediately. The three sons they bore came three years apart.
My mother was an elementary teacher by profession, a drill sergeant by avocation and a folk philosopher by hobby. Our daily lives were filled with one-line aphorisms like:
“If you can’t say something nice about someone, don’t say anything at all.” (Sarcastic remarks, however, were a gray area.) “Don’t use a word if you can’t spell it” and my favorite (and I hope my most adhered-to) saying: “If you can’t do something right, don’t do it at all.”
Self-pity or excuses never existed in our household. I had medical obstacles to overcome early in life and all I ever received was positive reinforcement and the desire for them to provide me with the best opportunities to thrive and to succeed. Mom was a she-wolf in acquiring those objectives yet she never allowed me to wallow or to dwell on the negatives. “Work hard and you will succeed” was a phrase that echoed constantly inside the walls of our home.
We were a family that ate together and prayed together. We were taught that the concept of family was more than just a word. I learned to watch out for my younger brother as my older brother was assigned to be vigilant over me. Yet those bonds were forged early and apparently permanently as we near our sixth decade. We have maintained contact and fraternal love despite being separated by large distances. My younger brother has achieved significant fame in my parents’ region and my mother was often praised in the nursing home for having bore him. She had a standard one-line response for such occasions even as reality and communication slipped away. She would always say, “I have three sons,” just to remind that person of her two other boys’ equality in her heart and mind. Furthermore, despite the wide-ranging cultural revolution that has occurred, by example and by any means possible, that quality of fabricating and replicating family bonds have been passed on to our children and hopefully more future generations of our family.
It has been said, correctly I believe, that a person truly does not reach adulthood until he or she loses his parents. Until that time, if they were lucky or blessed, there would have always would have had a natural support system available to them. I was lucky to have lived this long to have gone untouched by that sort of death.
If one looks or cares enough, you can easily find my parents’ philosophy of life in these blogs of mine. If I could wish for anything in this industry, it is the desire for a quality product to be installed correctly and never ever do anything to dishonor one’s name or to harm a customer or their property. That is the least we could do and it is frustrating at best to see that simple concept lost through the haze of doing business. We have to do better in this industry and equal blame for the decline of quality and craftsmanship has to be shared as well by all.
Let me pass on a story concerning consumer decision-making that occurred this weekend. For the obvious reasons, this was a stressful weekend for all the family. As Murphy’s Law would dictate, more chaos would occur at the worst possible time. My brother’s two-year old refrigerator stopped working early Friday morning and a repairman had to be chosen immediately. He opens the Yellow Pages and selects a company who bears the name of its owner. In the process, he ignores several large regional repair companies with large ads promoting their 24-hour services. His logic? He stated he implicitly trusted a man who was proud enough to put his own name on his business.
My brother’s reasoning proved to be correct. This “kid” in his 30s went the extra mile in getting the fridge to work for the weekend. The fan motor had burned out and the correct part was not available anywhere due to the relative newness and model rarity. He returned early on Saturday morning, on a weekend he was moving out of his own house and jerry-rigged another model fan motor to operate, saving hundreds of dollars of food from spoiling until the proper part could be acquired from the manufacturer. For his yeoman efforts, he refused to charge anything extra. A class act in my book. No doubt he was made from good stock. His parents should be proud.
